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How to Stop Letting Other People Upset You

It happens to the best of us.  We find ourselves completely undone by someone else’s behavior.  It could be anything from someone cutting you off in traffic to your spouse cheating on you.  Mild to severe, other people’s actions can turn our world upside down.

I recently let myself get all caught up in someone else’s drama.  My boyfriend’s daughter was behaving in some ways I found unacceptable.  He was trying to rein her in; she was acting out more and more; we all went to counseling (I can’t tell you how many arguments, sleepless nights, and general fury on my part all this caused).  Suddenly, she decided to move in with her mother. As soon as she moved, poof – there was peace on earth.  No more drama, angst, or fury.  Is she still doing all the stuff we had problems with?  I’m sure.  But now it’s not my issue.  And you know what?  It never was.

Most of the things that you get upset about aren’t your issues.  The driver who cut you off?  Their driving is not your issue. All you need to worry about is getting safely to your destination.  That lazy co-worker who isn’t doing their share of the work?  Not your issue.  All you need to do is focus on your own good work.  Your cheating spouse?  Not your issue.  Your issue is why you would stay with someone who is cheating on you.

Some tips to help with this:

1. Realize you cannot control other people.  They are going to do the crazy, stupid, incorrect things they are going to do.  You can’t force them to do anything else.  You can’t force someone to stop being lazy or lying to you or cheating on you.  The only person you can control is you.  You get to decide how much you’re going to let this person’s behavior impact you.  Your worrying, obsessing, venting, etc. has zero impact on them – and only hurts you.

2. You have three choices – change your thinking, change your behavior, or do nothing.  My boyfriend is not a planner – it’s just not his way.  This used to drive me completely insane.  I would constantly argue the importance of planning – that if you failed to plan, you planned to fail.  I was quick to point out occasions where his lack of planning cost him (I’m such a charmer!).  He finally told me that if I liked planning so much, I could just plan everything and he would gladly go along.  I finally accepted that I was never going to change him.  I can either live with no plan (changing how I think about planning), make the plan myself (changing my behavior), find a new boyfriend (also changing my behavior) or just keep complaining about it. But I’ll never make him a planner.

3. Examine your role in the behavior.  Did the driver ahead of you cut you off because you just started talking on your cell and slowed 20 MPH?  Did your teenager lie to you because the last time he told you the truth he was grounded?  Is your spouse cheating because you are on the road 358 days a year?  I’m not condoning any of the behaviors – I’m just asking you to look at the only person you can control – you.  Maybe you are playing a role and not even realizing it.

4. But realize it may have absolutely nothing to do with you.  I hate to say it, but this is more often the case.  We are all the center of our own universes.  Many times we think people are doing things because of us or to us and they aren’t.  The driver may not have even seen you.  Your teenager may lie just because he doesn’t want to be embarrassed.  Your spouse may be cheating for the thrill of it and still loves you (although they have a crummy way of showing it).

5. Don’t inadvertently enable the behavior.  Some people engage in their crazy behavior because the people around them encourage it.  If your spouse cheats on you, and you take them back and treat them better than before, can you blame them if they cheat again?  If your friend “borrows” money from you, and never repays it and you lend them more, can you blame them if they never repay that loan either?  I love Maya Angelou’s advice, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  I know you don’t think you’re enabling, you think you’re helping.  You think they will behave differently this time, that perhaps your love or kindness will change them.  I say to you – why are you trying to control them still?  Trying to change someone is trying to control them.

6. Let it go.  Think of whoever drives you crazy right now.  Get worked up – think of how they lie to you or how they don’t do their share or how selfish they are – whatever it is they are doing that drives you crazy.  Assume they will never change.  Ever.  Can you just let it go?  Is it really a minor thing you’ve been focusing on, making it major?  In the big scheme of things, my boyfriend’s nonplanning is just not that big a deal.  It’s offset by his kindness, patience, and wonderful good humor.  Can you focus on the good more than the bad?

7. Let them go.  Some behavior you just can’t let go of.  Sometimes there’s not enough good to offset the bad.  The best thing to do may be to let go of the relationship.  Why are you staying with someone who causes you so much upset and pain?  If you can’t let go of the relationship (say it’s a co-worker), can you let go of thinking so much about them?  I bet they aren’t spending so much time thinking about you.

8. Get help.  Can’t let it go or them?  Talk with a professional counselor – life is too short for all this drama.

9. What about kids?  Obviously when kids are little, you have to control them.  They might think running into traffic is a good idea and you should probably put a stop to that.  But as they get older, you’ll find that you need to alter your behavior to impact theirs.  Maybe they start to dress inappropriately.  You have several options – you can check out current fashion before you freak; you can yell and tell them they’re not going out like that (giving credibility to their attempt at rebellion); you can cut off the clothing allowance (controlling your behavior not theirs); or you can ignore it, knowing that sooner or later they will be embarrassed just like the rest of us and will fall in line.  And if you are sharing clothing with your children, know that the rest of us are trying to let it go.

The bottom line is that you can’t let the behavior of others steal your joy.  But if you do, it’s your choice.  Focus on being the best and happiest that you can be – that’s where your energy should go.  Set the best example you can and spend time and energy on people who lift you higher.  And remember, somewhere there’s someone out there who thinks YOU need to change!  Ha!

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Sarah Brown
6 days ago

I am afraid I obsess with people, I think because of my upbringing. I need to stop, get some confidence and think about myself. My brother got with my best friend and, knowing that I wasn’t impressed, they lied to me for 6 years about it. I didn’t like it a) because he is 15 years younger than my friend and myself and she knew him as a kid and he fancied her when he was 10. 2) The main reason is because my family have gaslighted me all my life and I didn’t want her involved. All our family… Read more »

Natascha Smit
7 days ago

I took to heart what u’ve said….and I will write them down, study them and try my best to apply them… I REALLY struggle and don’t like who I am when I am with my husband….We have 2 beautiful boys…3 & 8….and he is a wonderful father….(the father he never had) however, not so good a husband. We’ve been together almost 12yrs….and perhaps happy 6months of those yrs. We’re not friends, never laugh… I have many friends, love my work and I am happy, just not fulfilled in my marriage…. I don’t know what rlto do anymore…I’ve left several times,… Read more »

James
7 days ago

I think in my situation that the reason I get mad at people who upset me is that they violate my own beliefs and rules (I wouldn’t do it to them so why do that think they get to do that to me?) For example, if I wouldn’t go around bullying someone, yet someone bullies me, I’d feel like that was a violation. I guess I shouldn’t think like that, but every time I do, this question crosses my mind: “If I can’t expect people to treat me with respect, why should others expect me to treat THEM with respect?”… Read more »

Lina
11 days ago

Omg this is exactly what I needed to read. I have such a hard time not letting other peoples actions affect me. ‍♀️. And your right I guess I am trying to change them, and I shouldn’t. It’s just hard when you see someone making so many choices you think are mistakes and say nothing. All the little things people do get to me and I need to realize they are not my problem to solve. Definitely something I need to learn to let go off and stay in my lane. I need to stop expecting people to live up… Read more »

Michelle
21 days ago

Such good advise. My ex husband was pretty hands off while my daughter grew up. He lived 4 minutes from us for several years and only saw her on his scheduled weekends. And on Fridays when she had sports events for school, he never attended. He had a hobby to participate in of his own. Saturdays, he left her with her uncaring step mom. He also never helped with support unless it was court ordered. No college, no wedding, cars, braces, glasses, surgery, on and on. Bottom line, he was a lazy dad, self absorbed. Fast forward to now. He’s… Read more »

Michelle
16 days ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Thank you for the reply it is truly a blessing! It is just a relief to vent to someone and feel understood.
You are right, I have wasted too much time on this person who really is irrelevant. God bless you.

Susmita Gupta
1 month ago

Hi , I love this article ,in my life I have gone through very wrost situation I had many emotional break down ,people call me I m too emotional I get attached with the people so quickly, but once I get attached with them they start taking as a granted ,they said I always complain about everything, but I am not wrong all the time ,when I see something wrong then I complain only, now a days everybody want a happy face or happy mood , once you start serious conversation about relationship ,they said you are overthinking , I… Read more »

Susmita Gupta
1 month ago

Yes

blondine
1 month ago

interesting! i cant stand is my husbands lack of keeping his end of the deal; he will promises, for instance, that he will vacuum for you, and then (after youve done your part of the deal) & then you do his laundry, & make him breakfast. when its late in the evening yet he still didnt do what he said hed do!

Kat W.
1 month ago

Thanks for writing this!! I’m currently struggling to not be affected by my fathers drinking. He gets drunk, acts recklessly, forgets and when we bring it up to him he makes it seem as if we’re wrong for worrying about him or wishing he didn’t drink. I try to not let it get to me but I tend to cry a lot or feel tense because its my dad and he refuses to open up about his past and chooses to get drunk everyday to escape. It’s hurtful to watch and I find myself getting worked up about this constantly.

yos
1 month ago

I love this article. I recently had an argument with the father of my child. We recently separated but we were trying to make things work. However, I am realizing that all he does is gaslights and manipulate me into making me think I am the problem because “I MAKE THINGS DIFFICULT” Of course, It is my fault because I put up with it. You literally cant change someone of they don’t see what they are doing is wrong. As much as that hurts, we stay because we believe we can change someone but in reality, if they’re not going… Read more »

Christy
1 month ago

Denise, Thank you for this article. I feel its something I need to re-read everyday until it comes natural. There are so many times that I dwell on people and things that are completely irrelevant to my own life. I am so easily annoyed that it frustrates me. I dont want to be this way, I dont want to care. I just dont understand why/how some people are the way they are. But, I will NEVER understand that and I need to LET IT GO. Not my monkey not my circus. I know its easier said than done but your… Read more »

Sarah Brown
6 days ago
Reply to  Christy

Not my monkey, not my circus, love it!

Erica P.
2 months ago

Thank you sooooooo much for this article. I feel like people are constantly irritating me, from my mother asking me to do A and then changing it to A through S, to the husband’s overdrinking and laziness, to the girl at work at the department behind her who keeps changing the rules of how I need to work my project, to a guy who rigidly went around the mulberry bush just to say what I had already said as if it was a novel idea, the last of which brought me here. I blame it on PMS, lack of sleep,… Read more »

Christy
1 month ago
Reply to  Erica P.

Erica, You sound like me! We should be best friends HA

SeekingAnswers
2 months ago

Thanks for the article. I wanted to write because i really needed some encouragements…. I moved to a foreign land due to marriage and I have a child of 4 years old whom we have enrolled in the preschool of the public school. We were generally happy with it until beginning this year, a boy in her class started to hurt my child (and some other children too) in 3 separate occasions within 3 months. Knowing that this happened to only my child, I asked the teacher to do something about it, but she didn’t. So on the third occasion… Read more »

shanaya
2 months ago

such an informative article. ur amazing

elizer
3 months ago

sometime’s i have a guy called mr roy in i have been with him for one year
he is sometimes crazy i don’t like him sometimes he make’s me have a bad day in he is really annoying he is like a jerk he say i can’t eat carnival food sometimes he thank’s every place in new jersey is so far from paterson too

Last edited 3 months ago by elizer
nicki
3 months ago

I am someone who just thinks that people are really nice and trustworthy and tell them my secrets, just because i tell them it is something important to me.More than often people aren’t like that. Ive come to realize that but somehow I still tell people secrets.So i told one of my classmates who i knew, but not too well some secret stuff about me and soon after i regretted it.Now i just have this feeling that the whole school knows about it, they probably don’t but i just cant get the thought out of my mind and it probably… Read more »

nicki
3 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

thank you so much this means a lot, and i will do my best to follow your advice

vikki fisk
3 months ago

This is such a useful article thank you x

aperenna
4 months ago

A friend of mine who I’ve known for over 20 years has burned out my willingness to understand her decisions. The decisions she makes are self serving (I get that part)… Add to it her purposeful ignorance of the pitfalls, the easy to project disastrous outcomes. (I can even handle that part). It’s the complaining afterwards of all the problems her decisions have created. I stopped long ago at attempts to give advice. I’ve stopped encouraging conversations about much of anything because the conversations are almost always one sided, with her relaying the excitement and enthusiam of her next acquisition… Read more »

Atharv
5 months ago

I was bullied and verbally abused by a boy in school when I was 15. I was just minding my own business when he started throwing paper balls at me, and when I tried to get him to stop it, he came up and he slapped me. I am a very shy person and as that was right in the middle of the class I was shocked and froze as he simply just walked off. After that he took every opportunity to humiliate and demean me but whenever I tried to take it up, he always said that they were… Read more »

Atharv Goel
3 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

I appreciate you replying to my message. I have been speaking to a counselor about this for a few months now. I will certainly do such a symbolic act as the one you mentioned. Thank you for your wishes!

Stacie
5 months ago

My 20 year old son has ADD, been arrested for drugs, was arrested for drugs again. He’s not a leader, he’s a follower. He is the nicest and kindest and most compassionate person you’ll meet. It’s his downfall. He cannot say no to anyone – and all his friends happen to be procurers, users and sellers. So if they ask him to do something- he will. He knows they use him. I can’t control him and his choices. I’ve been seeing a therapist for years (started with my other kid). I just can’t let go of the idea that if… Read more »

Tracey
5 months ago

My ex business partner has caused me so much stress over the past 12months, in which I forgave her and wished her all the best in her future endeavours, however she is now infecting my Staff & encouraging them to leave and start their own businesses (in hair & beauty). Some have left and now support each others businesses, in the knowing that they have left not the right way towards me. I find this extremely hurtful when I have only ever opened my heart to my staff, been vulnerable with them, been a great boss to all of them… Read more »

Jayne
6 months ago

My step daughter treats her dad so badly and it really frustrates me, I get so upset and then we end up arguing. She is nearly 18 and I believe her mum is a narcissist. Her dad is so kind, caring, and so authentic, he never has a bad word to say about anyone he even agreed not to tell his daughter that her mother cheated on him as he didn’t want to upset her. She takes his money, drops him as and when she feels like it and I can’t see it ever changing. However reading this I have… Read more »

Jayne
5 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Thank you you are so correct. In regards to telling her the truth, her mum went onto marry the man she cheated on her dad with, (he also attacked her dad in a jealous drunken rage during their affair) she was there at the time (age 10) but she is so brainwashed by her mum unfortunately I don’t think telling her the truth would change anything. We will just carry on being happy and hope in the future she will come around. Thank you

Seleny
6 months ago

Thank you for the article. I just want to say that I myself have trouble with not letting other people’s behavior affect my mood. For instance, my younger sister’s presence gives me a great deal of anxiety and puts me in a bad mood. She has an entitled attitude and has used me in the past, anything that will only benefit her she uses me or my mom. She’s also quite manipulative. She can be rude to me and acts like the world revolves around her. We just have completely polar opposite personalities. When we were younger she would do… Read more »

Luna
6 months ago

I’m glad that I found this article!! I’m 19, the youngest in the house with one older sister. Sometimes, she’s quite rude to me, and she doesn’t acknowledge the things I do even if she likes them (for example, my cooking). She would say mean comments and when I complain she says shes just “criticizing” and my mother sees no problem to that because she’s the same as her. I’m quite sad because although I tell them that their words upset me, they laugh it off and change the topic. I know that I’m sensitive, but sometimes I just can’t… Read more »

Neel
2 months ago
Reply to  Luna

I feel the same as u Luna I can’t help but let their moped facial expression affect me

Resha
6 months ago

Nice article

Deb
6 months ago

Hello I’m having trouble with my son whose 45 your information was helpful. Thank you. I’m 65 and four years ago lost my daughter. Her and I were very very close. It’s been hard. I thought my son and I would become closer but that hasn’t happened. He’s self absorbed and I know that. I know I can’t change him. He’s been very hurtful many times. What I need to know is how do I not let his words and actions affect me? That would be a great help. I will loose sleep even and make myself a wreck. He’s… Read more »

Mpume Gumede
7 months ago

Hi, what an article thank you so much Now my problem is that I do so much for other people nice things, I’m not sure if I’m a good person or deep down I want to feel appreciated and seen for the good I’m doing in such a way that the very same people they will not give me any respect I deserve they will talk any how like talking they are talking to a child not even a child is suppose to be treated this way and it gets to the bottom of me I even cry and after… Read more »

Last edited 7 months ago by Mpume Gumede
Sophia
7 months ago

Why I didn’t search for this before? Thanks for sharing it. It’s my choice to let this go …or not I feel very ashamed, but I can’t, I don’t stand the noise. Loud noises, laughs, and mostly loud and annoying music drives me crazy! I get all angered, irritable, my chest hurts so much to the point I have to punch or put pressure in the center or the pain won’t go away. It has affected me in so many ways, I stoped living my life they way I want to. I have an appointment with a doc next week,… Read more »

Kris
7 months ago

Hi there, I’m struggling immensely with letting a past situation go. My partner of three years, whose daughter I’ve been helping him raise since she was 1, cheated on me for several months. Our friends knew about the affair, yet no one told me anything. It wasn’t until he told me he was moving out that I knew something was even wrong. He asked that woman to be his girlfriend the day he told me he was leaving. Our friends paid me lip service about how angry they were with him and how awful this whole situation was. Then, one… Read more »

Pau
7 months ago

Hi I felt great when I read your post, I have a concern I was hoping you’d reply. So I was working at our family merchandising business together with our Doughnut Stall. Most customers always does extra things that gets to me. They keep on breaking boundaries too far as a salesperson and customer relationship. Especially when there are construction workers, they always buy doughnut from me while having those creepy smiles and asks inappropriate questions instead of just minding their own business. The way I handle this things when things are just too much is that I just lash… Read more »

shelly
7 months ago

Hi I found your article really helpful. I have recently been messed around by a guy I work with and when I called him out on his behaviour instead of acknowledging it and apologising he is now constantly obnoxious and rude and it had been really effecting me. I struggled because I knew I hadn’t done anything to deserve bring treated like that but it made me feel I had to prove I am a good person as someone had decided they didn’t like me anymore. After reading your article it made me realise that it is his problem not… Read more »

Dianne
7 months ago

Hi, I’ve read some of the discussions and feel this applies to me as well. My partners behaviour shows that of passive aggressive. I have been to a lot of counselling over the years and done my own research through reading also. I have come to the conclusion after reading articles on my partners behaviour towards me that he doesn’t care/love me and most of the boxes are ticked. My problem now is even though I have realised, acknowledge and accepted the situation I still fall into the trap of getting upset by his behaviour towards me or something he… Read more »

Frank Curtis
7 months ago

Thank you so much for this. I like your message and that touch of humor. Paragraph 6 and 7 and the last one… The bottom line makes all the sense in the world to me. I’m 74 and extremely HSP and in many cases can sense a person who is loving and one who is the absolute opposite. Your message is going to help me a great deal in my issue regarding two people but it’s a long story. I should have learned by now considering my age to be able to let it go and to let them go… Read more »

Yavis
7 months ago

Thank you for the article, and your temperament is admirable. I don’t have specific problems to be troubled with, but rather it’s anything! I would be livid, upset or in tears over just about anything, some absolutely has nothing to do with me personally. I try to reason/argue with people about anything and could easily get a red face doing it, “no, they have to understand! why don’t they just see it!” For example, somebody in a another country said something, I would argue about it, maybe online, or to myself at night, which leads to insomnia. Anything a random… Read more »

Last edited 7 months ago by Yavis
Jess
7 months ago

I am having a hard time with covid and people disregarding rules, but most specifically my in laws. We are legally not allowed to have indoor gatherings. They are all doing it anyways. Everyone but my spouse and I and our kids. It’s hard to not become upset with them and also feel bad that we don’t get that same quality family time. I also have an immune compromised parent which makes us more aware of the consequences. This also makes me sad that they don’t even think about my family’s health when they are all getting together. In fact… Read more »

Henri
7 months ago

Hi I desperately need your help! You seem to have figured most things out. I’m a senior student and pretty normal, I don’t like to stand out especially negatively but because of a little slip of the tongue I was suddenly in the center of people’s negative attention. It’s not even that serious the things that I said but I regretted saying what I did almost instantly. Anyway a group of kids have now got it in for me I feel like they’re always talking about me even though I never get in anyone’s way or even speak about them… Read more »

Last edited 7 months ago by Henri
Heri
7 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Thank you.

Andrew
7 months ago

Thank you for this. I am fairly young, only 17. I’ve been kind of sheltered my whole life. Me and my girlfriend have a pretty healthy relationship for the most part, but every once in a while something happens and I blow it completely out of proportion. I would like to know how to stop going crazy and to actually be a good partner for my girlfriend.

Yanna
8 months ago

Hi, thank you for the article! Please advice if you can: My husband seems generally like a good, normal person. But once a while he will obsess about an artificially created issue /what if…/ can be totally random and it’s not something actually happening but he, seems to me, is using that to let off steam. He comes to me for answers, I give him solid solutions. He comes back few more times, same thing. Than he will push the issue as if no solutions were ever offered /he never acts on the offered solutions btw./ and he gets this… Read more »

sarah
7 months ago
Reply to  Yanna

Hi, I’m sorry to butt in, but he is beyond your “help” or working things out. You are not his “punching bag” for him to release all his tirades. This isn’t going to get better since he already blames you for everything and won’t take responsibility for his own actions. You’re probably right about him needing drama to fuel his addictive personality. Please get out and don’t look back. It won’t get better, especially because he knows you’ve accepted his bad behavior before. Don’t keep taking his apology and promises to be better. They’re just empty words. I wish you… Read more »

Jim
8 months ago

During this Covid crisis we are in, it is driving me crazy when I see people not social distancing, not wearing a mask when around each other, or wearing their mask under their nose or as a chin warmer, or worse yet, the defiant ones who deliberately won’t abide by any of the protocols necessary to stop the spread of the virus and especially those that even seem to look for a confrontation over their defiance. Another problem are those on social media, such as Facebook, that make comments that are against the science and are also defiant towards following… Read more »

Jim
8 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

I understand your reasoning on an older man not wearing a mask, and giving him grace, but I guarantee you that the people I constantly see do not have a medical reason for not wearing a mask. It’s hard to give grace to those being openly defiant and seeking confrontation.

Havana
8 months ago

Hey,I have a sister who keeps troubling me and teasing me.My parents say me to grow a thicker skin.She thinks teasing is her way of showing love.But I hate it.How do I stop her from teasing Me?or how can I react in a better way?

julie
8 months ago

Hi, I grew up with a Mom who like to yell a lot. I thought that was how everyone was. I had children and did the same thing to them. It wasn’t till they got older that i realized how i ended up being like my mother who i never wanted to be like. I have been married for the last 10 years. Our marriage struggles greatly because of me. He says… he doesn’t know which person I am going to be when he gets. home everyday. and I fly off the handle a lot. How do I not realize… Read more »

Linda
8 months ago

Hello, how does a person deal with a partner who is an emotional vampire? My husband is moody, mopey, and obstructs everything. It’s very draining. We have two children and overall our home is quiet and calm. We have spoken to him about his moody behavior and he’s been to therapy but nothing has changed. The worst part of all this is once he’s around his friends he’s lively, animated, and talkative. He makes plans with them and pursues recreational activities outside the home. But once he’s home he treats us absolutely miserably for no reason. He gives us the… Read more »

Linda
8 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Thank you so much for replying. I greatly appreciate your suggestions!

Jacqueline Roberts
8 months ago

Thank you for the amazing advice. I leave home for work with a positive attitude. When I get there all type of situations are going on, I get frustrated when my coworkers and customers are inconsiderate to others. I try to cope but sometimes it doesn’t work. I allow myself to get frustrated and angry. I have a reputation at work being a kind, loving and spiritual person. Don’t won’t to keep allowing myself to get upset.

Peggy Chism
8 months ago

I am in a job that is a decent job to do but the people and the manager are not. There is always drama, people getting away with not doing their job and some of that falls on me to pick up the slack on. Lots of filthy colorful talk, loud obnoxious behavior, and management that helps to stir the drama. There is no private conversation with the manager and she comes at people with abrupt attitude. I always feel like I am going to get in trouble because Im the odd one. Im twice these coworkers ages and dont… Read more »

@a_crossroads
8 months ago

Hi, I have an ex that I just can’t shake. He says one thing and does the exact other. We broke up almost 3 years ago but he pops in from time to time. I know I allow it. I’ve realized that I’m only allowing the behavior so I’ve blocked him and deleted all the pictures (even though it took me some time to delete them). Anyway I unblocked him bc what if he wanted to talk again? And now he’s popped back in. It’s not the typical relationship there’s so much more to it and I don’t say this… Read more »

sara sami
8 months ago

Hi. I have a situation in which my long-distance fiance is not quick to end conflict between us as I would like. I am stuck always being the one who is worrying, and thinking and have to talk and make sense of the situation. He is stubborn and takes longer but it really affects me negatively because he is the closest person to me, he is like my best friend and my emotional companion. We talk every day, he is the only person I feel comfortable having every day long phone calls with. I do not do that with my… Read more »

Roni29
9 months ago

My roommate saved all the garbage in her room and waited a couple weeks to let it pile up until it was my week to take it out again. Then she put all the recycling stored, in the bins at once. Shes leaving moulded food around quite often too. She also clogged the toilet multiple times in a row after I told the landlord of our dorm that she left her poo in the toilet without flushing and it caused a clog when I went to flush it. Shes slobby and makes the whole house stink. What should i do?… Read more »

Ris
9 months ago

Hello I truly enjoyed reading this article. I found it to be very insightful. As for my situation I feel as though my entire life has been a lie, going from being sexually abused as a child for years, to an anger issue out of this world thinking I needed to control every outcome in every situation, of course that lead me to prison(6years). Getting out to my oldest daughters father being in a fatal car accident. To meeting a narcissistic maniac barring two of his children, being abused through it all. I finally gained the strength to leave. As… Read more »

Last edited 9 months ago by Ris
Ris
9 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Deniseryan, thank you so much. I’m not sure if you truly understand how much of a blessing you are to me! I am so grateful God told me to write on here I usually don’t open up like that, but to keep it bottled and have no one that says they love me, believe me nor hear me out is more hurtful than anything, so Thank you! To be honest I am on the right track, I am constantly playing and teaching my kids loving on them and attempting to break the cycle of drama, trauma, and no self love..… Read more »

Ris
9 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

You already answered my question… live my life and rock it out, my children and I will live happy, grateful, loving, and caring lives,. I will be sure to update here in the future, let you know how we are. Your the best.

Tash
9 months ago
Reply to  Ris

Ris I’m going to love and prey for you and your family. I had to stop talking to my mom because she was really toxic to me. At first I felt horrible but as I worked on myself I could see things clearer and realized it was the best for me. You might not like where you are now but if you keep working on yourself you might just find that this time in your life might be the best thing for you to grow. When you and your kids are living in that house you provided you can look… Read more »

SP
10 months ago

Hi, I found this article when I searched on how not to be let others affect you. As a very sensitive person, I tend to be easily bothered and affected by how others treat and behave towards me. I felt that I needed some kind of help. I have not been sleeping well and also not been on good mood for the past few days due to something that happened at work. Recently, I was faced with a situation whereby my colleague is not talking to me and also does not respond to my texts. I am not too sure… Read more »

SP
10 months ago
Reply to  deniseryan

Hi, thank you for your advice and reply. By the way, just to update you on the situation. My colleague did talked to me but only for work-related matters. Unlike before, where we used to laugh and share some of our more personal matters. Few days ago, I tried to ask but she did not wish to talk about it and told me she just want to work only. However, I see that she is still talking and laughing with the rest of the people there. Anyway, I told myself not to bother so much as I am only there… Read more »

Karina Roy
10 months ago

Thankyou for this wonderful advice. What my situation is that a very close friend of mine(as i think)acts so wierd sometimes. We have been friends now for three months and have come really close. He also tells me sometimes that i am important to him but i donot know whether he really means it or not as everything happens over text. But every time some tiff happens between us, he stops talking to me. I am always the first person to resolve things. He acts as if it doesnot bother him. I lend all my support, warmth, love, care to… Read more »