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Solutions to All of Your Problems

Don’t we all read newsletters hoping for solutions to our problems? Well, here goes:

Problem 1 – I don’t have enough money for _____ or I can’t get out of debt. Solution – you have to earn more and/or spend less. I know it sounds simple, but most of the people I know who have money problems don’t seem to be willing to engage in these activities. Have stuff you can sell? I sold two AC units I wasn’t using on Craig’s list in less than 24 hours. I have a friend who details motorcycles in his spare time for $150 a pop. Takes him about an hour. There are loads of opportunities out there for people willing to work. Are you really willing to work? Or do you expect someone else to take care of you? The only person who can solve any of your problems is you. Never put your financial destiny in someone else’s hands. If someone else has control of your money, I strongly suggest you change that ASAP.
If you want more money you have to work harder or get better. And treat the money you do get with respect – know where its going, spend it wisely.

Problem 2 – Person X will not do what I want. Solution – Assume they never will and decide what you want to do with that. The only variable you can control here is you. Do you want to quit the job, end the relationship, go over their head, accept them as they are, go to marriage counseling, confront them, etc.? Remember the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If your wife has nagged you for 10 years, why in the world would you expect her to stop?

Problem 3 – I don’t have time to do ________. Solution – Yeah, you do. You’re just choosing to do other things. I’ve been saying I didn’t have time to do this newsletter for weeks. Finally I decided you all would think I was dead if I didn’t get on it. Found the time. You can find the time for anything you really want to do. Recognize this for the excuse it is. (I write these articles for myself as much as for you all. I’m kicking my own butt right now.)

Problem 4 – I hate my job. Solution – Either find another one or get over it. Pain is the universe sending you a big, fat message to take action! Grow! Are you really looking for something else? Are you upgrading your skills in your spare time so you can escape? I know it’s scary – if it wasn’t scary everyone would have work they enjoy. If you are waiting for your boss or co-workers to change, see Problem 2.

Problem 5 – I can’t lose weight. Solution – You already know. Right now you are just choosing to eat too much and not exercise. Need to revisit Problem 3?

Problem 6 – I am lonely. Solution – there are two parts to this one. One is getting comfortable with being alone. If you believe you can’t be alone, you are in a position of great vulnerability. If you can’t stand on your own, you will always need someone to prop you up. You will act out of desperation rather than strength. You will cling too tightly. The truth is you spend a lot of your time alone anyway. Loneliness is all in your head. If you think you are lonely, you are. If you think you are simply solo, but having a grand adventure, you are. And I believe you can be lonelier with someone than by yourself. So get comfortable being by yourself you’ll be happier and more attractive to healthy, well-adjusted people.
The second part is getting out there. If you really want to meet someone you have to be willing to do different things. Sign up for an online dating service or join meetup.com to make new friends. You’ll have to take action to change your circumstances.

I know you know all these solutions. The truth is, deep down, you know the answers to all of your problems. Sometimes you’re just not ready or willing to do what needs to be done. Most solutions boil down to this – you can either want less or work harder. And remember, the universe isn’t giving you anything you can’t handle.

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Judy Berkley

Your advice is spot on, Denise. We can all come up with the comfortable excuse or the rationalization. We rarely want to hear the solution, because it does take effort. Thanks for the reminders!!

Rick Tron

Nice job Denise of putting the blame right where it needs to go. As the old quote says “If it is to be then it is up to me!”
Thanks for having the courage to bring us back to reality.

Aletha Pugh

Denise, I love the way you cut to the chase and don’t waste time on fluff. Great pep talk for the day! You are always positive and upbeat!

Ronnie Keeter

Thanks, I think i’ll put this on my desktop and read it every morning to keep me pointed in the right direction.

Tammy Holt

Hi Denise, don’t know if you remember me but I work with SECU and you spoke at our manager’s meeting earlier this month (you met my sister earlier this year and took a great picture together). Great job by the way…sorry we were a tough group…we all have peer anxiety when we get together (no one wants to be singled out). I love this article and it is so true. Problem #2 caused me grief for many years and I finally decided to accept this person as they are (after 22 years I finally figured out I wasn’t going to… Read more »