Fayetteville (N.C.) Observer
Friday, October 13, 2000

Networks help women
By J. Kyle Foster
Staff writer

"It's not what you know, but who you know" has long been an adage of successful business. Motivational speaker Denise Ryan says it is more than that - "It's not what you know, it's not who you know, it's who you have a relationship with."

Ryan, whose company is called FireStar, gave tips on networking for women at Wachovia Bank's Professional Women's Luncheon on Thursday in Fayetteville. About 50 women from various companies and occupations attended the event at Highland Country Club.

Mitch Mullins of Wachovia Bank said the luncheon was a first in Fayetteville, but that the bank has held similar events in larger cities. "Women are becoming more prevalent in business today, and Wachovia wanted to recognize and support women in Fayetteville," she said.

Ryan said that from 1987 to 1999, the number of companies owned by women increased by 103 percent nationwide. Even though that is an improvement, "there is always room for advancement." A network, she said, consists of everyone you know personally, such as family, friends and dentists, etc., as well as all your business contacts.

But not everyone can be in a person's network, Ryan said. For your network to be successful, it must be planned, built and, cultivated.''  

Like the Kenny Rogers song "The Gambler" advises, she said, "You have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

To determine which action you have to take, consider the four things you should be getting from your network, Ryan said: Information, development, support and influence. 

Information must be that which you can use professionally or personally. Development is someone who pushes you. "If you're not growing, you're dying," she said. People who support you cheer you on. And people with influence can open doors for you.  

If someone in your network does not offer you at least one of those four things, you should consider "folding that person out, she said.  In other words, stop hanging out with her. "I think we have to be ruthless with our time. And sometimes we have to be ruthless with our network." 

Another networking must, Ryan said, is to get out and meet people. "Eighty percent is showing up," she said. But don't accept every invitation, she said. Be selective about with whom you spend your time. Can they help you? "Get out there, but get out there smart," she said.  

And once you're there, Ryan offers some tips to make a good impression. 

• Wear your name tag on the right-hand side, because it's the same side you use to shake hands, and the eyes naturally follow the arm.  
• Smile and be receptive. "People want to hang out with the living, not the walking dead," Ryan said.  
• Offer a firm, strong handshake.  
• Have a short speech prepared for each introduction. Make it interesting so that when the person walks away, she knows your name and something about your company. 
• Listen and truly concentrate on what the other person is saying. 
• Follow up with a card or a phone call to the people you meet, but only those whom you want in your network.

  
" I think this is where we can beat the guys," Ryan said.

"Women are much better at this stuff."

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