Tips for Keeping Your Cool No Matter What

As a motivational speaker, I’m not really known for playing it cool.  But sometimes we all have to.  And it’s not that you would ever lose your cool.  I know that nothing upsets you, angers you or even gets on your nerves.  But just in case….
1.  Take a deep breath.  Before you do anything, take a breath as deep as you can. This will keep you from responding immediately.  When we’re upset, our immediate response is usually not our best response.  There is a lot of power in pausing.

  2.  Make sure this is your fight/issue.  Sometimes we may feel strongly about something, but it really isn’t our fight.  Ask yourself – is this going to impact me in a significant way?  If the answer is no, let it go. 

  3.  Don’t let yourself get too hungry, tired or overburdened.  Let’s face it, if you are exhausted or starving or stressed out, you’re a ticking bomb.  Forget about keeping your cool, now you have to worry about staying out of jail!

 4.  Talk slowly and calmly and keep your voice low.  Sometimes this is all I can do.  I want to scream, but faking calm seems to calm me down.  I also don’t want to look like the crazy person I really am.

 5.  Allow more time for everything.  When I am in a mad rush, everything sets me off – the blockhead who is driving the speed limit on the highway, the madwoman searching for change in the bottom of her purse, and don’t get me started on TSA agents!  But when I have plenty of time, I don’t even notice these things.  I can joke with people who I would consider killing if I had less time.

 Bonus – think of something you are grateful for – your health, your kids, your freedom – gratitude changes your mindset instantly.


4 Responses to “Tips for Keeping Your Cool No Matter What”
  1. Darla Bartlett says:

    I recently attended the NC SHRM conference and heard Denise speak. It was 7 a.m. and she was a dynamo! Half uf us hated her, the other half wanted to be her! When I got back home, I read her newsletter. Finally, someone who is not afraid to speak the truth. “The only person who can solve any of your problems is you.” Thanks, Denise for inspiring and convicting me and for making me laugh while you do it.

  2. deniseryan says:

    Darla – you made my day! Thanks so much for taking the time to post this!!! Have a fabulous and well-deserved (for HR pros, every weekend is well-deserved) weekend!

  3. Lela says:

    It’s been at least a year and a half since I attended a fabulous workshop with Denise. I don’t even remember the name of the workshop, but it was all about setting your mind to do something you want to do. We were instructed to chat with another person in the room, and to tell them something we’d like to do in the future. Next we were required to put it on paper. Our “new friend” was supposed to be in touch with us in a couple of weeks to get an update.

    I wrote that I really wanted to be able to plan and take a trip with my kids. Sounds simple to some folks perhaps, but with the economy and recent personal events, it seemed next to impossible for me. I followed her advice, wrote my goal down, labeled an extra savings acct “Vacation with the Kids”, and it worked. Last month I returned from my week-long fabulous visit with family, and sight-seeing, proud of myself, with money leftover in the vacation account!

    Thanks Denise!

  4. deniseryan says:

    Woohoo! Lela that is awesome!!! I am so proud of you too! And those memories will last you and your kids the rest of your lives. So happy for you! Thanks so much for sending me the update.

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